This story is true. It lead me to examine a realization I had experienced a number of years ago that became the foundation of my attitude to adversity. In fact it transformed my views on gaining wisdom from all experiences. Let me share this story.

A few weeks ago I was at a junior squash tournament. I am heavily involved in sports administration, in particular, squash. This was a national junior event and was important to the competitors in terms of their national ranking.

I saw a young boy, perhaps fifteen, walk off the court after a match. He was sweating from the effort he had put in, his face was flushed and his shoulders slumped. He pushed past me,unseeing from the tears in his eyes.

There was no doubt about the result of his match. He had tasted bitter defeat.

I felt for him.

On the final day of the tournament I had the honour of speaking with a young fellow from Victoria (Australia) I asked him how he had gone in the tournament. In fact the event had taken place over a period of ten days and was two events.

He grinned. “I have been training so hard for this event and I was in good form. In the first tournament I was outclassed and I realized that the other guys must have worked even harder that I had.”

I was amazed at the maturity of his view. I asked him how he went in the second tournament. HIs smile got even wider. “I won a few matches and played really well. I know what I have to do now. Can’t wait to get home to get to work.”

I shook him by the hand and congratulated him.

I had to do a closing speech for the tournament and this boy’s attitude so touched me I told the audience a story I called “A tale of two boys.” I recounted my experiences with the two boys I had come across.

One, bitter and blinded by defeat; and the other, wiser from facing adversity and becoming stronger because of it. I finished my story with my realization. What I said was:

“In life, no matter what the experience, there are three possible outcomes. You win; you lose; or most importantly, YOU LEARN.”

When you come to think about it, the outcome of any experience is far less important than the lessons you learn from going through the experience. It is a fact that sometimes, the most important lessons come from defeat.

I don’t mean the sorry “I’ll never do that again” negative response so common. I mean understanding what you did, what you didn’t do and what you can do in the future to make the outcome better for you and those around you.

If you win, congratulations and LEARN. If you lose, face it and LEARN.

Please think about it.

Ollie Lind